This I Remain
by eisabelai
Summary: Love was not the word for them. He'd told her so, many times. They were not in love. She'd fought him about it, insisting that they were. Even now he knew they weren't. UqluiorraOC One-shot


Tired...

So very tired..

That's how he felt.

The cruel uncaring world left him with nothing more but the memories of her. Dust in the wind. She who sat at the top of the world, had been pushed off, free falling to the end of her existence. The rude, bad tempered woman whom his heart belonged to was reduced to mere ashes scattered by the ever present wind.

Loss was nothing new to him. But he had never felt this greatly for someone. He had never depended on someone so much. Not that he needed her to survive; No, he merely wanted her to. She had wanted to be with him 'til the end of time. He had not objected to this idea, nor had he embraced it. It was simply acceptable.

As was she. That's all she'd ever been. Acceptable.

But none the less, he'd taken to her. As where she loved him. No. Love was not the word for them. He'd told her so, many times. They were not in love. She'd fought him about it, insisting that they were. Even now he knew they weren't. But he realized now, what they shared ran deeper than love. Far deeper.

They were one.

His pain was hers.

Her joys were his.

But none of that mattered now. Her soul had been ripped away from his, leaving a raw wound that would never heal. Her blue eyes which had once been the sky he'd always longed to see would never open again. And her smile, which rarely replaced her scowl would never brighten his days. He was doomed to eternal solitude. Not the type he knew he'd be facing before. Now, he would suffer without her familiar presence, without her familiar warmth.

His skin tingled. The last contact they'd had together was just before he'd left to fight. He'd asked her to stay behind, not to follow him. But as always she didn't listen. She went out onto the battle field. She restrained from entering his fight.

Until the final blow was delivered...

_She appeared in front of him, accepting the strike as hers. She looked back at him, life was quickly draining from her eyes. The bright blue paled. Her skin took on his own unnatural tone. She smiled at him. She was not in pain, she was not afraid, she was happy. Utterly and completely happy. Then before he could blink, she turned to ash and was swept away._

_Anger built up inside of him. And for once in his life his expression contorted into full blown furry. _

But that was all just a memory now, something he could not change.

Gathering himself he stood and looked at his surroundings. Hueco Mundo was falling apart, they would not win this war. And he, he would no longer fight. With the acceptance of her death came the longing to roam. He alone would travel around this vast wasteland until the day came that someone could overpower him. He knew it would take quite some time before a true challenger would appear but he was prepared to wait, for he did not want to die an un-honorable death.

If she could see him now, she'd laugh. Laugh at the miserable look on his face, laugh at the thought of him actually feeling some type of emotion, laugh at him for missing her presence. She had told him and he hadn't believed her.

_"You love me and when I'm not here you will miss me."_

_"I have told you before, this is not love. I feel no such thing for you. I will not miss you should you ever be forced to leave my side. You are merely a possession of mine which I can do without."_

Oh how she turned out to be right. Oh how he did miss her. Never would he admit it, but he felt like nothing would be right now that he had tasted life with her in it. He would lose track of the days that passed. He would wonder aimlessly, yet always aware enough to stay far from where she had been taken from him. And he would hope everyday that today was the day his soul would be ripped from existence, set free to search for hers.

Ulquiorra would be living a shell of the life he once lived. He would no longer be even a fraction of the man he once was. And he blamed her. It was her fault that he would now be simply existing, no longer living. And he hated her for leaving him in a world he damned with every breath.


End file.
